OUAT Fanfic: The Favor Ch. 3

Title: The Favor or What's a Girl Like You Doing on a (White) Knight Like This?
By: Pink Rabbit Productions
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Chapter: 3
Date: 8 Feb, 2015

Author's Note: I apologize for being so slow getting this up on LJ. Having some formatting issues, so it goes slow. However, I'm also posting it on Archive of Our Own. It's currently several chapters ahead.

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Fanfic: The Favor Ch.2

Title: The Favor or What's a Girl Like You Doing on a (White) Knight Like This?
By: Pink Rabbit Productions
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Chapter: 2
Date: 15 January, 2015

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Silly Fun

Here it is Sunday. I’m watching basketball and trying to get things done that I can work on while paying more attention to the game than what I’m time (somewhere someone is thinking, “Wow, that explains a lot.” Yes, yes, it does).

So, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve been working on learning how to use Adobe After Effects. For those who have no idea what that might be (if there’s anyone actually reading this), it’s a program for creating/compositing special effects, titles and such. Fun stuff. It’s also the first program in many a year that pretty much totally defied me every time I tried to use it. I sweat blood, and for months, got approximately nowhere. Actually, not approximately nowhere—exactly nowhere. In fact, more or less the definition of nowhere. As in “Nowhere, You Are Here.” Playing with it didn’t help, studying templates didn’t help, books almost made things worse, and video tutorials seemed to make no damn sense.

And then, through a series of steps that would best be described as happy accidents (a Pikachu themed YouTube video starring a kitten was involved–no, I don’t do drugs. Why do you ask?), I found a site with great video tutorials ( for anyone who’s curious) and dug in and struggled through the first couple. The first forty minute tutorial took me days (of course I had to pick a hard one). I didn’t understand the semantics or where anything was (kept replaying things while trying to track what the cursor did) and the logic of how the program works was totally beyond me. I bumbled and struggled and cursed and finally figured some things out. I know myself well enough not to use the footage they give for projects because, while I’ll follow along perfectly, when I do that, I never seem to retain the information well. So I raided my hard drive for things to use, fiddled, learned and finally started hitting a point where I could use their tutorials as a jumping off point for doing my own thing (otherwise, my brain is a sieve). Lots of stuff not worth looking at, but gradually more and more things have worked as intended (and not in the Microsoft, “The program is functioning as intended,” as all hell breaks loose sense either) and I’ve even started to branch off on my own without starting with someone else’s idea (with simple stuff...the complicated things are still sooooo beyond me).

I’m rather proud, if I do say so myself.

Brief pause in bragging to note that AZ won! YAY! (College basketball for those who don’t know, but are vaguely curious).

So anyhoo, wound up with assorted bits and pieces of footage and thought I oughta do something with at least some of them (y’know, the non-failure types) and have also been trying to get better with sound editing and manipulation (sound, so not my thing), so just for fun, I threw together a fake movie trailer (sci fi mashup time--Sarah Jane Adventures/Star Wars--yeah, I'm that using some of that stuff, plus did all the sound other than the dialogue. It was pretty silly fun and stuff explodes (explosion sound efx are harder than I realized...not sure I got any of them quite right). No slashy goodness, but stuff blows up. And...lightsabers.

Anyhoo, since I've mentioned playing and folks have asked, I posted it on my YouTube page (also posted an efx free version, because someone also asked about that). So that's tonight's post.

And so I'll sign off now. Links below.

With FX (stuff go boom and...lightsabers)

Without FX (no booms)

Random Observations


Ummm, Let It Go?
Apparently several conservative (uber-conservative, I'm guessing) Christians have come to the conclusion that Frozen is lesbian propaganda (one or two of them have even seen the movie) and to that I say, "Ummmmmmm?" No, really, that's it. "Ummmmmm?" Okay, so I also said, "Errrrrrrr?" But honestly, I think that's similar enough that, "Ummmmmm?" covers my response adequately. Their thought seems to be that the song, Let It Go is gay themed because it talks about how awful it is be spend a lifetime ashamed, and letting the past go and not being ashamed anymore. And not being ashamed is apparently a bad, bad thing and obviously the only thing anyone is EVER ashamed of or tries to hide is gayness (which is ironic given that my first thought when I heard the song was of my dyslexia and atheism, not The fact that one sister gets a boyfriend and one doesn't also seems to have set them off because we all know that anyone without an opposite sex partner is gay. Honestly, it's so stupid, I can't even manage to be offended. Oh, they also think that the cute blonde boy is...ummmm..."involved" with his reindeer. No, really. They think the movie is also pro-bestiality. And these people think people like me are perverts? Sheez, how do they even think stuff like that up? I can't "Ummmmmm?"

Okay, so the "Ummmmm?" is also accompanied by yours truly moonwalking backward...

Ready Freddy?
Rumor has it that ol' Fred Phelps has been excommunicated from the hate-filled bunch of lunatic asshats er, church that he started and is presently at death's door in hospice care. Now it seems like folks are arguing about how to respond this news and oncoming event (Fred's exit from this earthly plain), with arguments ranging from "PIcket the #$%^&*() bastard's funeral," to "We must be better than he and his ilk. Picket but with messages of kindness," to "Be really vicious. Ignore him." Given that the church is denying there even will be a funeral, I'd suggest another tack. Send Thank You cards. No, really, I mean it and no I haven't lost my mind. Fred and his bunch have probably done more for gay rights than most of us by virtue of being so rabid that nobody, not even the most radical of souls wanted to be seen as being like them. They put the ugliest of ugly faces on bigotry and in so doing stripped much of the credibility from those who would give it a more civilized face. Good on ya, Freddy. Mind you, ol' Freddy should probably hope that I'm right about eternal matters and he's wrong, since even by his own rules he'd be migrating southward  and sniffing the odor of brimstone. The WBC think they're the only ones bound for heaven and having been excommed, he's out. Me, just think he'll cease to be. Which is good too.

Also, Thank You cards would probably make them batshit crazy (er...crazier), and that also has its appeal.

Incompetent, Irrelevant, and Immaterial
From the halls of the unexpected, I've been enjoying reruns of Perry Mason lately. Yeah, the old show from the fifties with Raymond Burr and Barbara Hale. It's very much from another time. No rape, torture, or mayhem and even the murders are presented in a surprisingly civilized way. They happen offstage and there are no huge fights or gun battles. The guilty party eventually confesses under Perry's cross examination, and aside from a few punches slung here and there, it's surprisingly non-violent for a show where at least one person is murdered in every episode. That's actually what i've been enjoying. The civilized thing, not the murder. It's a bit on the quiet side and pleasant background during late nights when I just want some sound and something I can pay a bit of attention or not. It's also never emotionally over-wrought (unlike so much current TV where even a hangnail is cause much wailing and gnashing of teeth--which I sometimes find rather exhausting). Anyhoo, there I was watching the other night while working on something or other and I had a sudden epiphany (hah, there's a word I don't get to use nearly often enough). Before I say more, a brief note of explanation for anyone who's never seen an episode (which would have included me until relatively recently), Perry Mason is a defense attorney, Della Street, his legal secretary, Paul Drake, the private investigator who often works for him and Hamilton Burger, the hapless prosecutor whose sysiphusian lot in life is to perpetually go up against Perry and get utterly demolished without ever noticing that this exact pattern has all happened (many times) before.

Now, unsurprisingly, there are literally multiple generations of viewers who've shipped Perry and Della, convinced they were secretly in love and hoping they'd eventually get together. Which, of course, they don't. Oh, they flirt very lightly, obviously enjoy each others company and eat out together a lot, but that's about it. Two fully grown, fairly attractive adults and their most emotional moment is pretty much limited to occasionally worrying when one or the other isn't getting enough sleep. All of which is what led to my epiphany (possibly more than one).

It all works so much better if Perry and Della are both gay.

Now I fully admit that my view could be affected by knowing that Raymond Burr actually was gay (true story: Phox didn't know and when I explained my epiphany to her, she got totally stuck on the news and I don't think ever heard the rest of But really, a bit of bearding and a good friendship make so much more sense. The shippers note that they never seem to be attracted to others, but they never seem terribly attracted to each other either. Perry's most intense relationship is actually with Hamilton Burger, who loathes the guy and is constantly banging on about how unethical and dishonest and just all around awful Perry is (even though every week Perry prevents Burger from sending some poor innocent bastard to prison or the chair). Jilted ex or maybe bitter because Perry said no. And then there's Della. No man or woman in sight, or are they? HIding in plain sight maybe and playing the field? She's so kind and thoughtful with every possible female client Perry could take (particularly the attractive ones...he just smiles indulgently and takes the case--being kind or enabling her clandestine love life?). She puts her arms around them, holding their hands, gentle and reassuring...and seductive? And then I started seeing gay interactions in every scene.

And that's when the second epiphany hit.

This whole concept works for most television from the period. Suddenly all the separate beds, the chaste kisses, the utter and complete lack of anything approaching sexual tension, the lack of pregnancies (children were just there...adolescents already...and seldom resembled their parents at all) all make sense. Eureka! They were all freaking gay; Rob and Laura, Ozzie and Harriet, Matt and Miss Kitty, and really, does anybody believe the Beaver's parents ever had sex? I think not. I mean, the only ones who provably had sex are Lucy and Ricky (as she got pregos with little Ricky) and appears to have made them (or at least her) insane. Then again, maybe she only acted that way in hopes he'd give her a divorce so she could go off with her true love, Ethel.

So there. I dare the Frozophobes to beat that for sheer lunacy (sadly, I suspect they'll find a way).

And now I should probably sign off and get some sleep, before the tongue in my cheek gets lost and starts coming out my ear.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

The Bunny Stumbles...and gets up again...

Somebody should probably take away my keyboard or cut my internet connection when I'm in a funk...which I have been for the last week. Yeah, there have been some hard things the last few years (and the last few months), but also some very wonderful ones and a lot to be grateful for.

Unfortunately, the self pity was strong in this one there for a little while. Not really my basic nature, but we all got here now and then, though in all honesty, I really hate it when I do. Whining gets on my nerves at the best of times and it grates the very worst when it's me doing the whining. So nothing but positive in this post (Note: Feel free to skip the list below and jump to the bolded headline on down if you're interested in more creative endeavors than my naval gazing).

I'm doing some writing again.
My garden is doing well.
My house is paid for and while I'm not rich, I'm not scared either.
It's a gorgeous day.
I'm finally figuring out how to do special efx in After Effects
I'm physically feeling better
Phox loves me.
I have a couple of really good, true friends.
I'm getting my backyard trimmed and looking pretty again (front yard next)
I've got a couple of gigs going that I've really enjoyed, working with people I really like and respect.

And good god, that sounds like one of those horrible Jack Handy Affirmations bits from the old SNL. However, they're all still good things. Meh, maybe I should leave off talking about myself and just go for writing and artwork. Never feels like I'm striking a good balance between serious and schmaltz or maybe I'm just much more comfortable when not the topic of conversation.

As for writing and art, starting to seriously play again and feel the words moving. It's slow, but hopefully the drought is starting to let up. Also working a cover painting for a project I think anybody who likes my website/this blog's usual topic will really enjoy if it all comes to fruition. Keep an eye out here or on Twitter (@PinkRabbitPro). I'll post more as I can.

Meanwhile, I've got a couple of original ideas that I really want to pursue over the next months/years. One is a supernatural/paranormal story set over several hundred years, using both prose and artwork. Not sure how it will work or if I can get it done, but the idea has been with me for ages and I've been trying to find an organized way of presenting it. Here's hoping because if I can pull it off, it really would be something very different and feature a lot of elements of history, art, and politics that I find fascinating...and which I think others would enjoy. Also thinking about incorporating some video elements and animation (advertising or freebies maybe). It's all swirling in there and I'm working on getting some organization to it all.

Also been trying to lay out some plans for Afterworld, which was originally conceived as a TV series treatment and was much, much larger than just the Otalia story I was playing with before the writing went to hell. It was always intended to be an entire universe featuring several different groups of characters who slowly make contact and rebuild over time and I'd still like to go back and revisit that overarcing concept. I wish I had the art skills to make it a graphic novel/comic series, but honestly, I just don't (at least not in under ten years per issue). I have been considering something that would be mostly prose, but maybe have some b/w illustrations for flavor. I used to do a lot of pen and ink work and I find I rather miss it. To that end, have been working on upping my pen/ink style skills in photoshop as I still love the style even if my hands won't handle the real medium any more. We shall see.

Finally (at least for the moment) videos...I seriously want to get myself to where I can play with some animation techniques and storytelling with my artwork. That's meant learning new software. Which for the longest time, I had zero luck with. Finally am starting to make some headway with at least one of the programs I would need to master. No idea if I'll ever get to where I can take some of the ideas in my head and get them into a video, but I'm trying. Meanwhile, sometime soon, I'll try and post a fake movie trailer that just sorta got created while I was doing various tutorials. Alas, no femslashy content to it, but hopefully still a bit of silly fun.

So that's about it. I'm back up and stable today and things are moving.

One last note: Today would have been my mother's 83rd birthday. I miss her, but I would far prefer to be positive in her honor than mope around and drench myself in self pity. So, Happy Birthday, Mom. Hope you'd be proud. I've tried.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

Interesting times...

My mother passed away on July 10, 2013.

It was quite simply the worst day of my life. Pancreatic cancer is one of those diseases that isn't going to come out well. You can win battles, but the war will be lost. We were lucky to get the time we did...years instead of months, but it's still never enough and the end is still too soon. But I picked myself up, kept gardening, looked after one of my cats that had some health issues, and worked on getting the will and all dealt with (which is not simple...death is a complex business). Falling apart, not an option because too many were relying on me.

Roughly a month later, I got one of those phone calls we all hate. My brother had had a massive stroke and was in a local hospital.

And before you start offering sympathies of the usual sort, I should say that it was no great emotional blow in the usual sense--no, "Oh god, I could lose another loved one"--- though it was definitely a gut punch of an unpleasant sort. You see, my brother is a violent, misogynistic, abusive rapist and dangerous enough to me that after mom died, a good friend stayed over for about a week because we were both afraid bro would show up on my front porch, hurling accusations and wanting his share instantly (he was written out of mom's will, but was due some things from dad's) and more than willing to beat the crap out of me.

I had managed to cut the asshole out of my life for years. Unfortunately, due to a small trust fund left by my dad, of which I am the trustee but we both inherit from, there are now legal ties and responsibilities. A friend of his has become his guardian and he is getting better apparently. It turned out he was even more of a mental case than even we realized as his house was apparently like something off of Hoarders. Lovely, my mother basically paid for it (blackmail for him to stay away) and he trashed it (literally...apparently everything was broken, beaten, trashed and sunk under cat/dog feces/urine). Meanwhile, he doesn't deserve it, but I've done my level best to be ethical about it all (to my detriment...ethics are expensive some days)...which has been trying at times, because the honest truth is I loathe the bastard. He hurt everyone in my family. He terrorized mom and I and beat and abused and caused as much pain as he knew how. Sadly, he knew how to cause quite a bit.

It was a strange experience having him in the hospital, physically incapable of leaving. I really hadn't realized to that time just how much fear I'd carried around with me all the time. It was simply the default setting. It was very odd the day that I realized I wasn't feeling it anymore. Odd to suddenly understand you aren't feeling something you weren't really aware of feeling.

So, that's one fun event. Mostly it's become not my problem as I've gotten details straightened out, but I get updates and there were legal issues and banking issues and assorted pains in the backside to be dealt with. Thankfully, his guardian is at least a decent guy.

Through all of this, there was business to get done, legal issues to figure out (death is expensive and requires a great deal of paperwork...and oh god, I have to fill out four separate sets of taxes this year), and every time I think maybe I've finally gotten all the details dealt with, I realize there's something else that needs doing.

Meanwhile I've lost two cats after protracted illnesses. Squeaks had kidney failure and a sinus/lung infection. With love and care, I gave her about three months after she first had problems, during which she got to go outside with me (she was always an indoor kitty), which she enjoyed. It was good time. I"m glad I could give that to her, even though it wasn't enough. Yeah, I'm one of those people whose cats are family.

About a week after I lost Squeaks I noted that Freckles was losing weight. The long and short, spent a month searching for an answer, but by time we found it, pretty much by accident, it was too late. Blastomyccosis, which is a fungal infection and virtually unheard of in this region.

That one really, really hurt. Freckles was special. I owed her and I'm so sorry we couldn't save her. You see, she took care of my mom in ways I couldn't. This little cat who couldn't stand to be picked up, restrained or even to stand still would lie with my mother by the hour during some of the times when the chemo and cancer had her ill and out of it. I could sit with her and talk to her, but for some reason touching/holding something warm and soft/furry gave a primal kind of comfort that nothing else. It soothed and calmed her and let her sleep without nightmares. Freckles would lie with her and let mom hold her and maul her by the hour, only taking off for a few minutes here and there for food and a trip to the litterbox.

Then mom broke her pelvis and the doctors told her she probably wouldn't walk again, that the chemo slowed healing too much and  the loss of muscle tone and the pain just weren't likely to allow it. My mother was a very determined woman and started trying to do laps in a narrow hallway in my house, using her walker and occasionally the walls. And somehow, that cat figured out it was good for her, and she would nag mom every day, just bitch at her every time she was near the hallway until she walked. Then she'd follow mom up and down the hallway, both fussy and excited and happy. We figured out Freckles could count to three because she would nag mom for three laps, then bounce off, her job done. It made something very physically painful into something would wince, but she'd laugh too. And somehow the laughter helped with the pain. My mother eventually worked up to where she could do three football fields worth of hallways laps, always with the walker for steadiness, but she walked. It let her get out again, go to the zoo, the nursery, get outside and garden and improved her last year immensely. Freckles gave gave that to her more than anyone else. For that, I will always be grateful.

Small cat, big soul, bigger heart. Much missed. Perhaps not all that important in the cosmic scheme of things, but still a little person worthy of tribute.

If there's any good to be found, it's that at least we know what it was, so I can test the others as needed and keep a hawkeye on them. I'm also writing up the early symptoms for the vet so if she's anything similar, maybe it can help someone else.

So that's an overview of the last few least the parts I feel free to talk about (a couple of loved ones have had some nasty issues of their own to deal with, but that's not my story to tell). I suppose I can say of myself that I'm stronger and a better person and a few things like that, though honestly, I would just as soon have stayed bit weaker and not so good.

Which is not say there's been nothing good. I've enjoyed gardening, which is not something I ever expected to say of myself. There is something profound about growing something you can eat. I pulled a carrot out of the ground the other day...very tasty. I did that. Also done some work I really enjoyed and found very fulfilling. And more recently, have been slowly, but surely figuring out After Effects, which has been my bete noir for some time. Maybe I'll post a gag trailer I've been playing with while doing tutorials to figure out special effects sometime soon. Good for a chuckle if nothing else. Kinda quit writing for awhile, but have been doing a bit more recently. NOthing exciting, just something silly, but at least there are some words flowing. Hopefully, more serious (read original) will flow sometime soon because I've been wanting to move away from fanfic to my own stuff for some time now. The original Afterworld concept is still in my head, along with a couple of other ideas and at least one graphic novel concept (though so far, my art skills haven't been up to the task).

That's probably enough for one night. I think I'm rapidly cruising toward whining, and I hate whining. It gets on my nerves...particularly if I'm the one doing it. Dunno if anyone will actually read this, but it was good for me to write it.
  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted

Farewell to a friend...

It's been awhile since I've written anything here. Kept meaning to, but real life has been...interesting (old Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times.") and writing has been hard. Or at least writing about anything even remotely serious has been (I've played with one or two minor bits of fanfic for pure escape...dunno if they'll ever see the light of day or if anyone would care if they did--not overly popular or active fandoms).

But before I say anymore, I want to take a moment to extend my deepest sympathies to Rita (@ramzee68) for the loss of her wife, DAx (aka Nelani, Daxilla and even Patricia on rare occasion). DAx was a neat lady, smart, funny, talented, and always interesting. We'd both been in and around femslash fandoms for year, but oddly didn't really know each other until Otalia because we never seemed to be in the same place at the same time, but I knew the name and later had the honor and pleasure of knowing the lady herself. Ironically, it still wasn't much in fandom but rather playing World of Warcraft. When she found out Phox and I both played, she invited us to her home realm. Being as we were always realm hoppers (Phox likes playing itty bitty toons...and I like hanging out with Phox), we started new characters. One of my funniest memories of DAx is of her taking us around, riding on the back of a mount she had that took passengers (the word slips my mind...and not up to looking it up). We were very small and attracting a lot of unfriendly attention from every mob around (and if you have no idea what the heck I'm talking about, feel free to skim ahead), but DAx took us everywhere, throwing out ridiculously funny one-liners and snarky comments the whole time. She could fight, run, and joke all at once and it was hella funny riding along with her doing this entire one woman show. She must have been the fastest typist in ten counties.

She had the ability to just let go and have silly, stupid, wholly entertaining fun. The world could use more people like that, and it's the poorer for her loss. Certainly Phox and I and everyone that knew her is all the poorer. She was also smart and thoughtful, and kind and absolutely refused to live in the closet. I'm not sure she knew they existed. And I admired the hell out of her for that. It takes guts to put yourself so thoroughly out there in this world, but DAx did. She was a braver woman than I. And she did it with a mix of humor, charm, and human decency.

Honestly, it seems impossible that she's gone. Some people seem much too alive to ever die. DAx was like that. I said of my mother that one of most impressive things about her was that even after a terminal diagnosis, she was always living, never dying. DAx had that same quality. I can't give any higher compliment.

 I think I'll end this post here and write whatever else I have to say on a different post. DAx was worthy of a tribute of her own.


  • Current Mood
    sad sad


It's cool and sprinkling outside as I write this. I can't sleep, but no good awake either.

My mother lost her almost 3 year battle with pancreatic cancer yesterday. She was an absolutely amazing person and I am the better for having known her. She faced this fight with grace and dignity and more courage than most of us can even contemplate having. Everyone praised me for taking such good care of her, but the truth is, it was an honor and I did it with love and the deepest respect. I was with her to the end and she went quietly. She was up and still getting around until very shortly before the end and was so proud of the fact that she managed to walk again after she fell and fractured her pelvis last summer. We always knew this was a war we'd lose even though we won a lot of battles...more than most if I'm honest. It's just always too soon and not enough time, no matter how long you have.

I will miss her more than I can express.

There's this giant, gaping void right now and the world is a poorer place with her no longer in it. She touched damn near everyone she met and was a star down at the cancer center. All the nurses loved her and made a point of speaking to her and trying to have her as their patient. They did an amazing job looking after her and my thanks to them and all the staff. They are amazing people who do a hellishly difficult job.

She taught on indian reservation, ran a boy's club library as a volunteer, helped start a scholarship programs for girls, worked for me in the theater as a stitcher for fun, grew up without electricity or running water, never went to high school, but eventually got a master's degree, and was always the mom kids in the neighborhood went to. She also made great chocolate chip cookies and distributed them freely.

Rest in peace.

So, now I go on.

New Video...old material

*Pant, pant, pant* Okay, so I've been wanting to throw together a video retrospective of my artwork for ages. Even started a couple, but...well...real life and all...

Anyhoo, finally got one put together. Fully admit I swiped the idea for the music from a video showing the history of the world in two minutes, but the artwork and editing and everything else are my own. T'was interesting digging up all my old work and trying to reassemble it into some kind of chronological order (note to self, dating work is a good thing...a lesson I, sadly, learned rather late in the game...which is ironic since I'm so obsessive about dates and chronology in my professional work). It's not all there, though there is a whole lot of it. Started with the Xena pieces where I was still learning to use computer graphics software and painting with a mouse, and ended with a recent Lost Girl piece that I kinda love. In between, there's a lot of SG-1, Buffy, Otalia, some Voyager and quite a few one offs and other things. A lot of it's been seen before, but a lot either hasn't been posted, hasn't been posted in a long time, or was only posted on very limited venues, so, given that even my girlfriend hadn't seen a lot of it, most folks who take a look will probably be surprised.

It was also interesting just going back and looking at it all. Wow, have things changed. Heh, took all of my willpower not to completely redo it all...had to keep reminding myself that would completely miss the point (though, I will admit, I might have fixed a mistake or two along the way...yeah, I know, and I was never any good at not scratching itches, no matter what dire warnings I was given...I lack impulse control on some fronts).

Sooo, as per usual, links are always much appreciated (particularly since I suck at the whole self-promotion thing), but please don't repost the video or use the artwork in your own projects without prior permission.